Fire Half the NY Times Op Ed page!

by Gimpei | 14:51 in |

In a recent email discussion with a friend about the state of the New York Times op ed section, he suggested that my ideal op ed line-up would be as follows:
Dowd
Krugman
Gimpei
Rodrik
Dholakia
Someone from the right... i can't figure out who...

Some friend! Excuse me while I ramble.

1) I HATE DOWD. I also hate people who write in caps, but I hate Dowd so much that she's pushed me into a caps using equilibrium. Why do I hate her? Well, it has nothing to do with the actual content of her pieces. Rather, I can't stand her writing style because it is really cutesy and annoying. Reading Dowd is like watching the opening act at a comedy club: a collection of dumb jokes that friends laugh at to be polite but that aren't actually funny.

2) Krugman is one giant pat on the back. I am bored by him. Then again, if he went back to his day job, he might start making some more economics models that seem nifty because they let you talk about human decision making in terms of mass and gravity. I know this seems insane to you, dear reader, but in fact its diverted a lot of funding away from research programs that might yield meaningful insight.

3) The Gimpei brand would be unduly tarnished by the New York Times. I get two hunder even three hundred percent increases in readership every week. Beat that New York Times.

4) Rodrik could be good, but I wouldn't know because I'm too lazy to read his blog.

5) Dholakia has no place on the New York Times. No place!

6)
Someone from the right... i can't figure out who... Exactly! Someone from the right, who's not Kristol and who argues in good faith... Nobody's popping into my head right now.

7) There are a few people that I like. Collins is great and her writing is genuinely funny. Kristof is good too. He's like that picture of the Somalian kid on your refrigerator door. You know the kid who got a dollar a month from your parents and whenever you complained about something they would point at his/her smiling, emaciated face and guilt you into shutting up.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous on 8 January 2009 at 15:43

    as i said before, your rant just demonstrates how much you really really care about the NY Times op-ed page.

     
  2. Gimpei on 8 January 2009 at 16:31

    That's it? That's all I get for producing such a wondrous rant at your behest? This is an unfair trade. I want more commenting capital from you anonymous. More commenting.

     
  3. Anonymous on 8 January 2009 at 17:15

    you've produced nothing, Gimpei, until you can come up with the right-wing commentator. Cowen?

     
  4. Moko on 8 January 2009 at 21:19

    me! hire me! I'll be your new op-ed writer!

     
  5. Jon on 8 January 2009 at 22:31

    the problem with the times op-ed section is the 'glamour shots' accompanying each piece. doing their best to look pensive and unpretentious, dowd and company instead embody the person you dread sitting next to at a dinner party. this is fine in print, where their visages are sequestered in our memories, but reading them online is like receiving a close range personal sermon from a times square preacher, with their doe-eyes seeking constant affirmation.

    I would also like to point out that my captcha for this comment is 'dipshist,' which I find very appropriate for this topic.

     
  6. Anonymous on 9 January 2009 at 19:59

    and instead bono got it... it's like the nyt is doing everything in Miner-opposite-town

     
  7. Gimpei on 10 January 2009 at 10:30

    Why Bono when they already have Kristof? One Somalian kid I can take, but two... I start to zone out.